The Teen Age
by Big Time Hooker
Summary: I had even stopped paying attention to the crowd flowing in, until he walked in. Kendall Knight ruled the school and he made my life miserable every chance he got. R&R?
1. Chapter 1

_**The Teen Age**_

"Faggot!"

I turned around to see who it was this time, but all that was in front of me was a fist. I closed my eyes as white hot pain spread from my nose to the rest of my face. His punch was dead center and my breath hitched in my throat, allowing me only a burst of sound before everything stopped. My head slammed into my closed locker and gravity pulled me down to the floor. For a few moments, it seemed as if everything was a jumbled mess in my head. Then... black.

I sat in the chair beside my mother with my eyes closed and my face screwed up tight. I was trying to block out the sound of yelling without actually putting my hands over my ears. I envied people in comics who could zero in on one sense and go with it. If I could just tune out the squawking around me, my head might possibly stop ringing. My mom had come immediately from home when I had called her. She was livid.

When I had woken up I was still on the floor in front of my locker. There was blood all down the front of my shirt and my eyes could barely open for the way my face had swollen. It had only been a few minutes, maybe just one or two, but it all scared me nonetheless. Whoever hit me had walked away, but there was a crowd of people around me and I could hear a teacher or two yelling into their respective phones. I was literally in a state of shock. This wasn't the first time I had been hit at school, but this was the most damaging.

It took a few more moments to try and orient myself and when I tried to stand, I almost crashed back to the ground. I did fall against my locker and a fresh wave of nausea swept over me. I had almost sunk back down to the ground, but the hands of my Phys. Ed. teacher grabbed me and kept me from falling.

For the next hour, I sat in the nurses' office. I had gotten a chance to call my mom, Joanna, and she had gotten here as soon as she could. She stayed with me for a few minutes and then she marched her way over to the Principal's office. She had been there for a good half-hour before I was called over and that's when everything hit the fan.

"What the hell are you saying to me?"

She was burning hot and she hardly ever seemed to get mad about anything. But now, she was yelling like I had never seen her before. My mom was a short, petite woman and seeing her fired up would be comical if it wasn't so intimidating.

"This is the third time in the last marking period. When is something going to be done?"

My principal glared at her, but he answered her nonetheless. He wasn't a fan of me or my mother. No one in town was, but that never stopped her from speaking her mind.

"We've done what we could do. We have suspended the responsible parties once we figured out who they were."

"And you think that's enough?"

"It's all that we can do. Logan doesn't even know who it was."

My principal smiled in satisfaction when my mother's face dropped. She slowly turned to me and I could tell she thought that I was covering for someone.

"Logan."

"Yes, Mom?"

"Do you know who hit you? Tell the truth, honey."

She smiled encouragingly at me, but I for once didn't have the answer.

"I really don't know, Mom. When I turned around, all I saw was someone's fist and when I really came to, I was in the nurse's office."

She looked disappointed, but not with me. She turned around to face my principal, and she slammed her fist down on the table. He jumped at the same time I did and we both looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"This is all the more reason something should be done! My son should not have to go through this over and over again."

He bristled, but he tried to calm his tone as he replied to her. Although I'm sure he'd like to do nothing more than yell and scream at my mother, he was still a professional and he had to remain in that character.

"Have you considered another means of education?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Have you considered transferring Logan to a new school? Or home-schooling?"

It took a few minutes and it looked like my mother had actually been slapped. I, myself was contemplating the idea. I had been for a while, but I knew that even if I did go to a new school, the same stuff would start to happen again.

"Are you even suggesting that my son should be the one to be punished for this?"

"I hardly consider thinking of ones personal safety a punishment. Maybe it would be best for all parties."

He said that last statement with a delicacy I knew he didn't feel and I could see the distaste in his face. His wife was one of the main women who talked about my mother and tried to make her feel less than.

"You people really do amaze me. He's the brightest student in this school and yet, he gets treated like shit. Forgive me if I'm not willing to let this rest. Let's go, Logan."

I grabbed up my bookbag and shuffled out behind my mother. My head was still wringing and the nurse couldn't give me any Tylenol, even though I assured her that I wasn't allergic. I told my mom that I had to go to my locker and get my books for home and she said she would wait out in the car. I hurried to my locker to get my books and after stuffing them in my bag, I headed to the car. I was rounding the corner to get to the exit, when an idea struck me. It wasn't a pleasant one.

I backtracked a little bit until I was standing in front of the Boy's bathroom door. I talked to myself and convinced myself that I needed to do this. I hadn't had a chance to see my face in the mirror, but I knew I looked a mess. I could feel the swelling in my face and I couldn't even begin to imagine the color my nose must be in.

I pushed the door open and rounded the corner. When I looked into the mirror, my heart just about stopped. I didn't even recognize the person staring back at me. My eyes were black and blue and the bridge of my nose was broken. I knew my mom was going to take me to the hospital, but I couldn't help but see the permanent damage that they couldn't repair.

I had a complexion that was a little lighter than the other kids in my school and my hair was brown and silky. My eyes were a chocolate brown and my lips were pout but plump. I wasn't a bad looking kid, but looks didn't always save you from being the brunt of every joke.

I remember exactly when it started. When the jokes began. My mother and I had just moved back to this small town and immediately we were looked down upon. She was a twenty year old mother with a child that was seven. The rumors flew and she was immediately labeled a whore. Although she was ridiculed, my mother always held her head high and didn't bother to care what people thought about her. It was hard for her to get a job in town because of the way people treated her, but she kept trying. She eventually found a job in a small diner and it had been working out well for us.

I on the other hand, had never fit I had always seemed a little different and I had always felt that difference. When I was a lot younger, I wasn't interested in playing outside or playing sports. I wanted to read and fill my mind with knowledge. I was already extremely gifted as a child and I wanted to expand on that. Because of my self-made seclusion, I never really knew how to make friends and knowing that you're gay doesn't help either. I'm not feminine. I never was. I just knew what I liked and boys could pick up on the fact that I got uncomfortable when they talked about women around me. After a while, the jokes started and then the hitting.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and grabbed up my bag. I walked out to the car and just threw my bag in the seat and got in the front. My mom had tears in her eyes, but she didn't say anything, so I didn't either. We drove out of the parking lot and made the thirty minute drive to the hospital. It was a quiet ride and for once that didn't bother me. My mother and I had a great relationship. She was really the only friend I had. She knew about me, about my sexuality. I had told her and she accepted me with open arms. But, not everyone in my family was so open. We lost a lot of family and I knew it hurt her a lot.

When we got to the hospital, they took one look at me and admitted me to a room. The only reason we were able to afford the doctor's is because of my grandparents. My mom didn't have a lot to do with them because of things that had happened and she would never accept anything from them. But, sometimes she had to fall on her own sword. When they offered to pay for health insurance for the both of us, she reluctantly accepted.

We went through the preliminary stuff with the nurse. They could clearly see what was wrong and she noted everything in my chart. I had been here a lot over the past few years, but this really was the most serious. Judy, the nurse, was nice, but she was a little to invasive. I felt like I was being attacked with all of her questions and when my mom saw my discomfort, she firmly told Judy to back off.

We were waiting a few minutes and finally the doctor came in. I was immediately thrown off because this guy wasn't my normal doctor. He was a lot younger. Late-20s maybe. He was Latino, attractive and I could just imagine all the women he had chasing him. He rolled his stool over to me and sat down in front of me. I tried not to concentrate on his face, so I looked down at his name-tag which read Dr. Marcus Rodriguez. But, I won't lie, it was hard to do with him being so close. I averted my gaze a little and I noticed my mom was staring as intently as I had been. At least I had taste.

"I can just tell you, this is going to hurt. A lot"

I looked at him dumbly and I could just about see the regret in his eyes. I watched his hand as it came up to my face and I immediately recoiled away from him. I didn't want him or anything else touching my nose. He tried again several times, but I wouldn't let him get close to me.

"Logan, I have to reset the bone in your nose. If I don't it'll set like that."

"But... That's going to hurt."

I tried pleading with my eyes, but I don't think the effect got through to him. He looked at me sincerely and he put on his best "friendship" face. I didn't buy into it.

"It's going to hurt like a mother, Logan. But, we don't want you walking around with what used to be a perfect nose. Besides, a lot of stuff can go wrong if your nose isn't in proper condition."

I looked at him warily, but he still had that charming smile on.

"Can't you give him something? Before, you just... go right in?"

He strode over to a small cabinet for a moment. While he was walking back, he was ripping open a medical packet and he out pulled a blue, short, fat rubber cylindrical item.

"Unfortunately, not. There's no way we can numb it, really."

He sat back down in the stool in front of me and he handed me the bar and told me to bite down hard on it. I did. When his hand reached for my face again, I closed my eyes and just prepared myself for the pain. If I thought getting punched was hard, getting my nose reset was a hundred times worse. Dr. Rodriguez didn't take long at all. Before I could really react, he put his thumbs to either side of my nose and pushed. I bit down on the bar hard, but that didn't stop a scream from escaping my throat and tears from pouring out of my eyes.

As soon as he was done, I pulled away from him and just tried to regain my composure. My nose was on fire. My face was on fire and no self-reassuring was calming me down. At this moment, I hated my life more than anything. This would be my life for the rest of high school and even into college.

As the tears fell down my face, the reason behind them changed completely. I tried not to think about my situation that much, but it was hard. I hated to seem like I was whining, but when the chips are stacked against you, it's hard not to gripe about things.

Dr. Rodriguez stood up from his stool and he was rubbing circles in my back that felt amazing. I calmed down just the tiniest bit and when he saw that, he backed off.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

He looked truly concerned, but I didn't want to talk to him about this. He looked at me expectantly though, so I did feel obliged.

"Just bullies at school. Nothing unusual."

"This has happened before? I read your chart, but I just assumed you were an active kid."

He truly looked astonished behind my reasoning and that surprised me. I knew he was a new doctor, but I was sure the other doctors and nurses would have gotten in his ear by now. An unwed mother pregnant at thirteen. It was the talk of the town. Even years later.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not really popular at school."

"Well, you're going to need to come back in a week or two, so I can check your progress. I'll write you a prescription for pain and just make sure to keep your nose iced and not do anything to aggravate it."

After that, I couldn't wait to get home. We stopped at the drug store, to fill out my prescription, and then we made the journey back home. When we got to the house, my headache, which had been barely tolerable, seemed to increase by a million. I wanted to go lay down, but my homework needed to be done for school tomorrow and I just couldn't go to bed without it being done. But, by eight pm, I just had to lie down. I took one of the pills my doctor prescribed me and after that, I'm not sure what happened. My head hit the pillow and I was dead to the world.

School was a blur for the rest of that week. I went back to school the next day, but I ended up leaving early. The stares I was getting, they made me so uncomfortable. I ended up calling my mom and she came and got me before she had to go to work. I missed Thursday and Friday too, I just couldn't face going to school.

Today was Monday and it was my first day back to school. I had contemplated taking another day out, but I couldn't keep running from this place and I couldn't let my GPA fall any. I had done all my homework over the weekend and I was ready to turn it all in and get back on track.

I went to my locker and just tried to block out all the stares I knew I was getting. Most people just stared because that's what they did. But a lot of them were staring because they wanted to see what condition my face was in. Besides a little swelling under my eye and my nose having a huge cut on it and it being swollen, I didn't look all that bad.

I made my way to my fifth class of the day and as usual I was the first one in. I took my seat at the front and just waited for my teacher to come in. I didn't mind being in class early because it gave me time to get started on other assignments or to even catch up some homework that I hadn't finished. While most people liked to stretch the last second talking to their friends and such, I was sitting in class being the good student.

As I took out my book to start on an assignment for Biology, I noticed a dark red spot on my book. I didn't know what it was and as I tried to wipe it off, it just flaked into pieces. It took a second, but then I realized that it was blood. My blood.

I don't know where the tears came from, but just the memory of what happened was enough to get them started probably. I tried to wipe away the blood again, but then I just gave up on it. It was around the time for the bell to ring and the other students started trickling in. No one even glanced my way as conversations that started in the hallways continued on into here. Although at first it bothered me that everyone hated me, I grew accustomed to it and then I moved on.

I had even stopped paying attention to the crowd flowing in, until_he_walked in. Kendall Knight ruled the school and he made my life miserable every chance he got. He was our school's star athlete, he played hockey, and his family was swimming in money. Not to mention that he was good looking. Yeah, he might hate me, but that doesn't mean that I don't have eyes. As he walked closer to my desk, I was hoping that I would get away unscathed and that he wouldn't say anything to me. But, when I pulled my head back up, his face was inches from mine and I jerked back in surprise.

I could see the malice and hatred in his eyes and it was disheartening. I had never actually done anything to Kendall, but he hated me all the same. Between my mom's history and my interest in genders being off, he had a million things to pick from.

His scowl widened to a half-smile after he saw that he had scared me and his face literally lit up. Dislike or not, no one could say that he was ugly. His hair was dirty blonde and his eyes were a beautiful green. He had a nice nose and his eyes were almond shaped and they fit his face perfectly. His lips, they were... well, he had great lips. Not thin, but not to big either. He was perfect. Well except for his eyebrows. They were fucked up. But all in all, he was handsome. And his body was a different story altogether. He was ripped and he knew it.

Everyone liked him and everyone wanted to get him in bed.

"That must have hurt good, huh?"

As my attention was pulled away from his face, I set my own face into one of distaste and got my war face on. Although him and most of the school terrorized me, I wasn't going to act defenseless in front of him. That would just make me seem like more of a coward.

"Being sucker-punched usually does hurt."

"Like it would have made a difference."

It probably wouldn't have, but I definitely wasn't about to tell him that. I was hoping that our teacher, Mrs. Lee, would hurry up and come on. She was no-nonsense and she'd tell him to get out of my face.

But again, I was pulled from my thoughts when Kendall started talking again.

"Why are you here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you here? In this school? In this town? No one wants you or your whore of a mother here."

The whole class was paying attention and the embarrassment was starting to hit hard. Everyone called my mother a whore. Some behind her back, most of them said it to her face though.

"She's a whore and you're a freak. I bet she just loves throwing her legs in the air to every man that wants a piece."

My eyes welled up with tears and I choked back a sob, and I was about to try for some type of retort, but the door to the class opened up and Mrs. Lee walked in.

She was one of our younger teachers and she had a no-nonsense vibe about her. She was freshly married and no one knew much about her, but she was one of the only two teachers that treated me with any type of respect.

"Kendall, go take your seat. My class is not a social hour."

"I was just having a word with Logan."

She gave him a leveling look and he went and took his seat. Her eyes locked on to mine and I could see the apology in them, but my problems weren't hers and she couldn't rescue me all the time. But, I also saw something else. I was pretty good at reading people and today she seemed in a more somber mood than usual. While she wasn't always happy and bouncing around, Mrs. Lee, was usually energetic and today it just looked like that weight of the world was on her shoulders. Hell, maybe it was.

Kendall took his seat and the noise in the class fell to a low whisper. Mrs. Lee was taking stuff out of her bag and she was laying a stack of papers down on her desk. She was about to put her bag away, but she pulled out a big white envelope and placed it under the papers.

She started in on the stuff we would be doing for the week and what projects were coming up and as she was talking, she started walking around handing those papers out. After the first three groans, I figured they were our tests from last week. She had finally come full circle and as she laid my test down in front of me, I saw that she placed the envelope down with it. I looked up at her and I could see that same look in her eyes.

I had asked her about a month ago to get me information on home-schooling and transferring. I loved this school. Their academic program was the best in the state, but it wasn't safe for me to be here. Everyone hated me. They all hated my mother and we hadn't even done anything. My mom had me when she was young, but a lot of people had children young. I wasn't ashamed of her and she wasn't ashamed of the way I was either.

As I opened the folder and just glanced through all the information, she had found, I knew it was the right thing to do. I had to think of myself first and I could get a good education anywhere. I already had a bunch of scholarships lined up and I was only a junior. When I went to a new school, my GPA would still be in good standing and I could start again and graduate and move on. I knew that once I graduated, high school wouldn't mean anything, but right now, it was everything.

"I'll want to talk to you after class, Logan."

I nodded at her in acknowledgment, but my decision was made as soon as I opened the envelope. I couldn't stay here and I wouldn't.

After that, class moved on at it's usual pace. We covered a lot in forty-five minutes and when the bell wrung and everyone rushed out of class, I stayed behind in my seat. We talked. By the time we were finished, most of my lunch period was over, but I didn't care. I rarely ate in the cafeteria.

But, I walked out of her class with a lot of information. I strolled outside and found my favorite tree to sit under. I saw a lot of kids milling around and a few were even coming back in their cars from having gotten something to eat. But, I tried to zone them out and just think.

I was just sitting there and trying to enjoy the weather when I got this feeling. Like when you know something is about to happen to you and you can't stop it. That's how I felt and when my eyes flashed open and I saw two hands reaching for me, I threw my hands over my face to try and protect it. I was waiting for the pummeling to begin, but it never did.

When I lowered my hands and opened my eyes, Kendall and a group of his friends were standing in front of me. He was to the back and James Diamond and Carlos Garcia were the two that I assumed had pulled me up. It took a few moments, but I gained my composure and put my back against the tree. I saw Dak and Jett on either side of me and I realized that they had me in a circle. Just great. But, if it came to it, I would push past them and run off. I wasn't a great fighter, not that I couldn't handle myself, but I had ran track for two years and that was my safest bet.

I was waiting for them to start talking or something, but when I realized that Jett was going through my bookbag, I piped up.

"Get out of my stuff!"

"Shut up, punk."

Said Jett.

I was about to reply, but Jett came out of my bag with the envelope and he handed it over to Kendall. I didn't know what that was about, but as Kendall pulled the papers out and started leafing through them, I was wondering what was going on in his head.

"When did you ask for these?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb with me. When?"

"Just leave me alone."

I wasn't exactly helping the situation any, but when Kendall and his friends took a step forward, I took a warning breath. I tried to calculate how hard I would have to shove to get through all of them and it was looking pretty bleak. The circle had tightened and I was damn near trapped.

Although he was in the back at first, Kendall had made his way up front and he was staring me right in my face. I couldn't help but notice the contours of his jaw and the way the sun hit his green eyes. He was beautiful.

"When?"

"About a month ago."

He looked shocked at my answer, but as soon as I saw that, he put his emotions back under control.

"I thought you would have gotten it after Wednesday."

"No. I've been thinking about this for a while."

"Good. You should go."

I didn't have anything to say to that. I watched all of them as they backed up, but Kendall took a step closer and he was bare inches from my face. I could smell the mint on his breath and if I hadn't been so scared, this might have been something close to hot.

"It's better for everyone if you just go. No one wants you here and you're not doing us any favors by staying."

"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps telling me."

I thought he would have more to say, but instead, he gave me a parting glance and then walked away. I waited until they were a safe distance away before I even thought about reaching my backpack and putting everything back in it.

The warning bell for next period went off and I had to run back into the school before the doors were locked.

I thought about going back to class after what had happened, but that just made me feel light headed. Instead, I grabbed up my bag and started walking across the field. I knew I would probably get in trouble for skipping, but I just couldn't bear to be near any of those kids who hated me so much.

I finally made it off of school grounds and I just started walking around. I didn't want to go home, but I just didn't know where else to go. I was wondering around and ended up towards the center of town. My mom's job was just up the street and although I was supposed to be in school, I headed in that direction.

It was a slow day at her job and her and a lot of the girls were lounging around. When she saw me, her face immediately took a worried cast and I felt bad for alarming her. But, I just couldn't pretend anymore. I was tired and things were getting worse. I took a seat in her section and just looked at the menu. She was on her way over to me, but a group of students from my school came in and she went to handle their orders.

I looked at my watch and saw that my little adventure had taken up a bit more time than I had thought. School had been out for about twenty minutes and most of the cool kids with cars were coming to have a bite to eat before some kick ass party I'd bet.

My mom had finished taking orders and as she started to my table, Kendall and his friends walked in. My heart stopped and my eyes misted up. My mom saw the panic in my face and as she turned to look at the new arrivals, he face hardened as well. But unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do. She was at work and they were customers.

She made herself busy taking my order and more than a few times she tried to catch my eyes, but I wouldn't look at her. She turned away in defeat and after getting the last of her section's orders, she dropped off her slips and then came to sit down in front of me. Her job was relaxed enough to where that wasn't a problem unless it was super busy.

I couldn't avoid looking at her for long and as we locked eyes, I almost broke down. I didn't want to cry here or in front of Kendall and his Neanderthal friends, but this was just a fucked situation.

"I'm leaving Morrison. I got some paperwork. I can do home-schooling and still graduate on time."

She was shocked. I took the opportunity to pull out the envelope Mrs. Lee had given me and I laid it down in front of my mother. She thumbed through some of the information, but for all intents and purposes, she had shut herself down. I watched as one tear slipped down her cheek and then she regained her composure. My mom had had to learn quickly that she would have to be strong in life. This was just another hurdle for her.

"I won't just let you give up like that. We can fight this."

"No, Mom. I want to leave. I can't do it anymore. I can't be that person anymore. I'm a victim there."

"But you worked so hard to get into that school."

By this point, she was quietly hysteric, my mom's dream was for me to get out of this place and never look back. It was our plan, and education was the biggest part of the dream. It was one of the hardest decisions I was making, but I knew it was best.

Luckily enough the cook called "Order up!" and my mom had to go. She wiped her eyes several times and more than a few people noticed that she wasn't her normal self. A few eyes turned my way, but when Kendall focused his attention on me, I had had enough. I signaled to my mother to make my order to go and after it was ready, I put my money on the table and left.

The next week between myself and my mother was rough. We had never gone this long without talking to each other before and I hoped I hadn't upset her too much. I knew she wanted the best for me and my education, but if I didn't survive long enough to acquire one, what was the point. By the weekend, I think she had had enough of the silent treatment and since she had the day off, we just spent some time together. We researched a few other schools in the area and even looked at some private institutes. They were a little pricey, but my mom said she'd be willing to ask her parents if it came right down to it.

On Monday, I was in for another complete shock. First thing I did when I got to school was drop of my exchange papers. We were still looking at schools, but there was certain paperwork I needed in order to make the move and I wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. When I handed the principal everything, he looked shocked and a little upset, but I couldn't understand why. After a short, strained conversation with him, I made my way to class and the day went on as usual.

It was during fifth period, when my day went to shit. Mrs. Lee walked into the class and immediately, I could tell something was off. I wouldn't call her upset exactly, but she had her game face on. Little did I know, in the next few minutes, I would be one of her main opposers.

As the bell wrung, she took a steadying breath and addressed the class.

"If all of you haven't noticed, the past week in our class has been relatively simple. That's because I've been preparing your final project for the marking period."

There was a collective groan, but she continued on like she hadn't heard anything. After explaining some of the project, she handed out a packet to each one of us. As I was looking this over, the questions started to make me more and more uncomfortable. Worse, it brought up things that I dearly tried to forget.

I could tell I wasn't the only person who was struggling with this assignment, but that was only the first bomb. I could see that some kids had already had picked their partners, probably their best friend or at least someone they were comfortable with in class. As usual, I was alone.

"Now, if you will all turn your packets over, you will see who I've assigned as your partner on this project."

There was a collective hush as everyone turned over their packets and then the class exploded in anger. I had never seen so many people lose it at the same time. When I saw _his_name on my packet, I nearly had a stroke and the rage that was building up on his face was like nothing I had seen before. If it wasn't for Mrs. Lee being in the class, I would have thought that he would have all out attacked me.

The class only quieted down when Kendall stood up from his seat and faced Mrs. Lee directly.

"There is no way I'm going to do anything with that faggot!"

As the class started snickering, my face warmed in anger. I was so tired of his bullshit.

"Don't you dare..."

"Why would you think I would work with him? No one in this class would work with him. He's a freak."

"Fuck you."

I barely whispered it, but the whole class heard me. Mrs. Lee turned to me in shock and as she was going to reprimand me, I rose from my seat and got up my bookbag.

"I am so fucking tired of you! You don't know anything about me. I've never done anything to you and yet, you treat me like I don't deserve respect."

"You don't deserve anything. You're a mistake. A wart on society. You and your filthy mother."

"Leave my mother out of this. You think just because you're rich you can say and do whatever you want to people. Grow up!"

"Care to do something about it?"

"STOP! Both of you, just stop it now. Kendall, you have detention for the rest of the month. Logan, I'll be calling your mother as soon as class is over."

"I don't care. Screw this. I'm not doing this project."

"You have no choice. This goes for all of you. If you don't do this project, it's almost a guarantee, you'll fail the year. This project is bigger than your final project. You all need to learn to respect each other. Learn something about each other. You all really aren't that different. That's why I picked the partners, because you all don't understand just how hard it is for that person you so-called 'hate.' They go through the same things you go through. Don't do the project and fail my class. Your choice."

I could tell the whole of the class was pissed, but none more so than Kendall or myself. I tried to calm myself down, but I couldn't. I grabbed my bookbag back up off of the floor, got out of my seat and exited the class. I had never left class for any reason, but I was not about to sit in the same class as that asshole. Mrs. Lee called after me, but I ignored her. Fail me. I was leaving this fucking school anyway.

I spent my lunch time in the baseball field of the school and just tried to keep from freaking out. No wonder she looked so strange for class, she was trying to ruin my damn life. As if things weren't bad enough already, but now she was letting the one person who hated me have open season on me. If I did this project, how much would he have against me then? How much would he tell his friends about me? How much would he tell everyone? I couldn't.

I wouldn't…

* * *

><p>thank you for reading. Please review? 3<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**The Teen Age**

For the next few days, our class was relatively silent. When I had gone home that night, my mom had chewed me out for leaving class and losing my cool in class. She understood, but she told me "I was better than that. You're better than them." I tried to believe her, but unfortunately, she was the only one who felt that way.

So when it came time for class to start, I was relatively quiet. Kendall had even stopped messing with me for whatever reason, but I just assumed that he was still in shock from the assignment. I knew I was. But, like I said, I wasn't doing it anyway. I could fail this class and it wouldn't hurt my chances at the scholarship I wanted.

My mom and I had spent the last few days looking at scholarships and schools. I already had a few lined up, but I had to find a school with a good enough educational program to enroll in. I had found one all the way across town, but getting there would be a major problem. But, where there's a will, there's a way.

The class stopped their chatting when Mrs. Lee walked in and as she placed her things on her desk, she looked levelly at everyone. She made eye-contact with each and every student and as she pulled folder after folder out of her bag, along with disposable cameras. I wondered what she was doing, but she didn't say much for the first few minutes of class. The tension in the room was building and I just readied myself for whatever she was going to do.

"Okay, class. You can separate into your partners and get to work. For the rest of class, you'll go ahead and interview each other. Start getting information about your partner for your report."

As murmurs and chaos started to erupt, Mrs. Lee talked over all of it.

"These cameras are to document everything. A moment here. A face there. Something your partner is legitimately interested in. Get to know them. Get to respect them."

As student after student sounded off, Mrs. Lee took it all with a grain of salt. As people told her. "they wouldn't" or asked "we have to talk to this person outside of school? Be seen with them?," her face remained impassive. And I waited. I knew he would speak, I knew he would open his mouth and find a knife and twist it in my side. I waited and I waited, and nothing.

As I looked back at Kendall, he had a grim look on his face. I knew he had resolved to just do the project and get it over with. Unfortunately for him, he came to that epiphany alone. Hopefully she would link him up with a new group or do something for him, but if he was depending on me, he would be doing the project alone. Hell, maybe if he looked deep enough, he might figure out why he was so hateful towards people.

Mrs. Lee had finally had enough and as she passed the folders and cameras around, she made her stance on everything clear.

"You can complain until you turn blue in the face I don't care. Do the project or fail. Your choice, but please do understand... if I think for one second, you came up with something false or just writing to get the project done, you will fail. This is an experience for all of you. Something you all can learn from. Do not squander it."

As she laid the folder down on my desk that was thick with all sorts of material for the project, I politely reminded her, that unfortunately, I would not be participating.

I could see her redden, but Mrs. Lee was good at maintaining control. She rounded on me and although I could see the stress in her eyes, when she spoke to me, her voice was very calming. Like a mother lion, grasping and calculating the situation, before striking.

"I don't know if you fully understood me, Logan. If you don't do this project, you will fail my class. Not just this marking period, you will fail my class."

'' I heard you, and I don't care. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lee, but I refuse to do this project. If you fail me, so be it. I've already put my transfer request in."

"I thought you were serious about your education? I thought you wanted to get a scholarship and get out of this town?"

'' I do. But, that doesn't change anything. Why would you give this project? Knowing how these people feel? Knowing that whoever my partner was, the hate would be just as intense? But, you chose _him_ out of everyone. You chose the one person who makes me feel lower than dirt and you made him my partner. Why would he want to get to know anything about me other than what he's already decided in his head? Why throw my life at him just so I can be ridiculed? Just so the whole class can know every detail of my life? I'm sorry Mrs. Lee, but I won't. I refuse."

By this time, tears were steadily streaming down my face. I hated the way my voice broke up while I was talking, but I was hurting inside and she was trying to bring the hurt to everyone's attention.

"Logan, I... I'm sorry. I know how difficult things are for you here, and I know you're transferring, but this project... it can help. No one knows anything about anyone in this class. They go off what they see or hear, but no one truly knows anyone here. It's time to get to the bottom of your hatred for each other. Time to get to the bottom of your fears."

'' I don't hate any of these people, Mrs. Lee. I'm just trying to survive them."

The class was entirely silent. During our conversation, I had completely forgotten that I was in a room full of my peers, that my class was hearing my deepest fears. That the fear I felt was out in the open. I didn't think I was going to survive high school. Maybe not because of them directly, but indirectly? Definitely.

There had been so many times when I wanted to end it all. To find a way to just stop. To find a way to make the pain go away. My solace was in the thought that one day, this would all be over. That one day, I would be free. One way or another.

As the tears dried on my face, I could just feel my resolve hardening. I grabbed my bag up and after giving Mrs. Lee a parting stare, I exited the classroom. I had taken a look back and everyone was watching me go. They were in shock. Or just surprised I had said so much for the second time in under a week. But when I looked to Kendall, his eyes were on me and they were as cold as ice. I couldn't take it anymore, and I left.

I had to stop making it a habit of leaving Mrs. Lee's class, but I just could not deal with this anymore. I was a lameass. Skipping school in the library wasn't anyone's idea of being cool, but I had a bunch of work to get done and when the librarian asked me why I wasn't in class, I told her that "my teacher let me go to finish up a project." That seemed to pacify her, but honestly, I think Mrs. Lee had already called around and told her I might be stopping in.

As I pulled out my books and such, I set about doing my homework. It was a slow task as I wasn't really focused, but I did what I could. I was just about done with my Economics homework and was ready to start on my Advanced Physics when a shadow loomed over my desk. I could feel the tension radiating off of whoever was standing across from me, but I didn't look up.

"You're doing the project."

Great! Just what I needed.

I looked up at him and tried to have my face betray my emotions. How can you find someone so hateful to be so attractive? He was honestly the most attractive person at this school. He had looks, brains, and honestly he was very humble. But. For whatever reason, he hated me with a passion. I always wondered what high school would have been like if Kendall didn't hate me. How the rest of the student body would treat me if their self-proclaimed leader didn't loathe the very ground I walked on. As I stared into his face, my resolve faltered.

'' No, I'm not."

"Look, I don't have time for this shit. I need to ace Mrs. Lee's class and if I fail this project, I fail her class, and so do you!"

'' What part of 'I don't care!' do you not understand? I'm transferring. You wanted me gone, now I'm leaving."

"Listen, I am not going to risk my shot at a scholarship because of this going on my report card. You're going to do this project, or..."

'' Or what? You're going to beat me up? Been there, done that."

I was tempting the gods. I mean, I knew that Kendall could pummel me into the ground, but honestly, the threats were getting old. I was so tired of having people push me around and then want something from me? How many people had asked me to help them with homework, or tutor them - only to turn around and go back to treating me like the shit at the bottom of the social ladder.

I could see the near panic in his eyes and the one time I had power over someone, I couldn't enjoy it. I valued the fact that he was so concerned about his education and God knows that if I didn't get a scholarship, that I would never be able to afford college, but I just couldn't bring myself to help him. Shit is as shit does.

As he sat there dumbfounded, I packed up my books and homework. I stood and looked down on him and for once, there in his eyes wasn't the hate that I had grown accustomed to, but pleading. He needed me for this project and seeing something different in those beautiful eyes was almost enough to make me reconsider. Almost.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I saw Kendall more than a few times, but whenever he tried to make eye contact with me, I would avoid his gaze and continue on my way. I even saw Mrs. Lee, but I think she was too frustrated to acknowledge me. She really was one of my favorite teachers, but she was making a big mistake. This project was a big mistake and it was going to blow up in everyone's face.

I was walking home as I usually did. I had my iPod in and I was making pretty good time. I passed through my mom's job just to check in with her and let her know that I would be home when she got there. It's not like I had any friends, but sometimes I'd go down to the local arcade, or I'd go to Fromran's and help him out with the loading and stocking of his store. He was a pretty cool guy. He knew about me, but he never mentioned it. He was one of the few people in the town that didn't treat me or my mom badly. He just kept to himself and appreciated the fact that we did the same.

I had almost made it to my block when something told me to turn around. I had spent the majority of my years running in fear, so whenever I had a feeling, I followed through with it. I hadn't even looked behind me all the way before I took off.

Kendall was running towards me and that alone couldn't have been a good thing. I was one of the quickest sprinters that our school had during the time I was a member. I ended up quitting because of the way my teammates treated me, but myself and the coach were still pretty tight and I tried to stay as fit as possible. I darted around the corner and bolted towards my house. I dug for my keys in my pocket the best I could while I was running, but as I passed my house with my keys still not out, I knew going there was a lost cause. I slowed just enough to throw my bookbag in our lawn and I picked it up again.

I had no idea what Kendall wanted or how badly he was going to kick my ass for putting him in such a bind, but I had no intentions of finding out either. The one good thing about running from bullies since the age of seven? You got to know the shortcuts pretty good. I could hear his grunt of surprise as I made a sharp left-dip and ducked into Mrs. Kyle's lawn. She was an old meanie, but she always interfered for me the few times I had run through her yard with a bully or two chasing me. I jumped over her small back fence and then I was on through Edwin Parker's house.

I could hear Kendall keeping pretty good pace with me and it was making this escape all the more difficult. I knew he was athletic, but even the most athletic person would have slowed down by now. I was motivated by fear and that kept me going, but I didn't know what was motivating him to keep after me.

The blocks continued to blend together as I ran from him. I saw so many of the town's people and even a few students from school, They all looked at me strangely, but none of them cared enough to interfere once they saw it was Kendall behind me. I had since slowed down, but I was still hitting a relatively fast pace. A glance behind me and I noticed that Kendall was a good seven feet behind me. If he worked for it, it was a distance he could close relatively fast, but he seemed content to stay a comfortable distance away from me.

That thoroughly confused me, but I still wasn't comfortable talking to him. I angled towards my house and in the few minutes it took to cover the few blocks back to my house, Kendall didn't close the distance between us any. As I turned onto my street and out of his sight, I sped up a little and made it to my house. I grabbed my bookbag and after taking out my keys and setting it down beside me, I took a seat on the top most stair of our porch. It was just a short jump to the door and I could get inside quickly if I needed to.

Kendall made it to my house and I could tell he walked the short distance instead of running. Maybe he needed time to clear his thoughts and make sense of his actions, because I know damn well I was trying to figure it out for myself.

As I wiped the sweat off of my face with a towel I pulled from my bookbag, I eyed Kendall warily. He hadn't made the step onto my lawn and I didn't know what he was waiting for. He seemed to be asking for an invitation with his eyes and when I didn't bother to acknowledge him, he released an exasperated sigh.

"Can we talk?"

'' There's nothing to talk about."

"Please."

I cringed at the command in his voice. It wasn't so much as a question, but there was so much behind that one word. People who hate you shouldn't have such control over you, shouldn't be able to make you feel things you know aren't good for you. Aren't good for anything.

When I didn't decline his request, he took it as a yes and came towards my porch. I shrunk back a little further and even started to get up, but as he watched me be scared of him, he took the bottom step and plopped down. He was still looking at me. Staring me right in my eyes.

"Do I scare you that much?"

'' Yes."

I hated that the truth came out. But honestly, Kendall did scare me. People like him scared me. The ones who thought I was beyond insignificant. They were the ones who disregarded your feelings. Your thoughts. Your fears. Your humanity. To him, I was just another faggot. Someone who didn't deserve respect and when someone felt like that toward you, there was no telling the things they could do to you with any remorse.

"I wasn't the one who punched you."

'' I know."

He paused and faced away from me. He put his head in his hands I guess he was just thinking. About what, I had no idea.

"They're just words."

'' To you."

He looked back at me, but his features held no change. He would always hate me. Would never change how he felt about me.

"I can't afford to fail this class. I have a 4.0 GPA and I can't afford to have any mishaps on my record. It's bad enough I have detentions and a suspension on my file. If I fail Mrs. Lee's class, my chances at a good scholarship are up in smoke."

'' Your dad can get you into any school you want to. He can buy you into any school in the country."

"And you think that's what I want? To be bought into a school. I work damn hard for my grades."

'' That doesn't change the fact that you don't need scholarships. Your family has money. Your dad would send you anywhere you wanted."

"Yeah. He would. But only if I was doing what he wanted me to do. Me, a lawyer? I don't think so."

That brought me up short. Kendall was rich because his dad was one of the best defense attorney's in the state and his services did not come cheap. He was a lot nicer than his son was, but I could tell that every time he went to my mom's job with his family, there was a silent judgment.

"I need to make my own way. I can get an education without my father's money."

We both sat in silent contemplation for some time. I knew that even if I did transfer, it would be damn hard to get my GPA back up if I failed even one marking period. I didn't want to have to think about not getting a scholarship. It was the only option I had. I didn't have any other options.

'' I'll do it."

I felt like my world shifted with just those three words. I was willingly going to let this person into my life. Was going to let them see me in all my pain. Let them know the life I had led. The hurt I had endured.

We started right then and there. He pulled out the folder and camera that Mrs. Lee had provided us and after handing them to me, he pulled out a tape recorder. He checked to make sure there was a fresh tape inside and he asked me one basic question. One question that opened up a world of pain.

"Who are you?"

'' I have no idea."

"Huh?"

'' I don't know who I am. I don't know if I ever will."

"You lost me. I just wanted you to introduce yourself."

'' Oh."

"Let's continue... What you were saying was interesting though, continue..."

'' I was just saying that I don't know who I am. As a person I mean. I know my name and I know where I'm from. But, I don't know who I am really."

"What are some of the things you think define you?"

That was a hard question to answer and I gulped hearing it played back. These words were permanent. Always to be had on this recorder unless something happened to the small little tape inside.

'' Everything. My mom. The way people treat her. The way people treat me. All of those things effect and define me. She is such a strong person, but I don't have her strength. She doesn't let anyone get to her. But, people walk all over me. Id rather be invisible than to..."

I stopped the tape. I shuddered at the fear in my voice. It's like it poured from my very skin. I was always on edge, but that's just how my life had always been.

"Why'd you stop it?"

'' I just don't want to hear it anymore. It's bad enough having even said it."

We had since moved into the house. I was content to sit outside, but Kendall wanted to get into the house. He said he didn't want the ambient noise to effect the recording, but honestly, I just think he wanted to get from outside in case anyone saw him at my house. I knew he was still uncomfortable even talking to me, but there wasn't much we could do until the project was over. He'd go back to his world and I'd regress back into mine.

We were going over some more of the general questions Mrs. Lee had given us, when I heard my mom's keys in the door and in the next second, she was in the house. Kendall had jumped up and I know I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It's not like we were doing anything, but by the look my mom gave him, I just knew she wouldn't be at all adverse to him choking on his saliva and dropping dead.

Although they saved most of their animosity for me, there were more than a few times my mom had told me stories about some of the local kids giving her a hard time at work. Even though she had been working at the diner for the last six years, she was barely tolerated there. She was a hard worker and she was always pleasant, but the other waitresses shit on her every chance they got. The owner wasn't much better. He had only given my mom a job because he had just lost his best waitress. She knew that he intended to fire her as soon as he found someone, but luckily, she was good at her job and by the time he did find someone else, she had already proved herself as a good waitress and he stayed away from her.

That being said, he nor any of the waitresses ever stood up for her if anything was amiss. There were more than a few times my mom had been stiffed of tips, bill payments and even had people insult her by giving the other waitresses the tips she worked for. It was a very stressful job, but she kept going back day in and day out.

She finally took her eyes off of Kendall and when they fell on me, my throat immediately closed up. I had given my mom the scoop on the project, but I knew she expected me to either do it at school or to do it somewhere other than her house. This was the one place where the disrespect couldn't enter and I had brought someone into her house that had not only made my life miserable, but has also made some of her days less than pleasant.

"What's going on?"

'' We're just working on our project."

"The one you said you weren't doing?"

'' I can't afford to fail a class. I thought about it and it's just a project."

I knew that my mom wasn't going to show how upset she was in front of Kendall, but the tension in the house was steadily growing.

I had to fill the silence and on a whim, I formally introduced both of them. He started to extend his hand, but her arms were crossed and when she saw his motions, she didn't release them, so he slowly lowered his hand.

"I think I should get going?"

"No. Don't let me stop your project. Just take it upstairs, will you?"

That was a bad idea and my eyes relayed the message to my mother. The problem? Kendall saw my poorly telegraphed message and for whatever reason, he thought it was a great idea. I could hear the subtle malice in his voice and I saw him reaching for his camera that he had left on the coffee table. He had snapped a few pictures of me earlier while I was being recorded, but I had yet to even take my camera out of the box.

It was too late for my mother to retract her statement, and I resolved myself to let things proceed up to my room. I did request a minute to go and tidy up and after getting a nod from Kendall, I bolted up the stairs to go and straighten things up.

Kendall's POV.

As I waited for the okay from Logan, I just explored their living room. There were some pictures, but not many. There was a picture of his mom, Joana, with corporate mogul Marvin Mitchell and who I assumed was his wife and that was confusing until I realized that she was their daughter. I couldn't explain why she chose to live here, when she had access to a gajillion dollars her parents were probably sitting on.

"Can I talk to you?"

I jumped at her unexpected question and the fact that she had snuck up on me. I had heard her banging around in the kitchen, but I guess I was so absorbed in the pictures that I didn't hear her approach. I couldn't meet her gaze and my eyes travelled along the wall of their memories. There were pictures of her, a man and a baby which I assumed was Logan. They looked so happy in that picture. Even though I could tell she was very young, they both looked happy, they looked like they were ready to face the world. I saw pictures of her father playing with a young Logan and looking like he truly enjoyed being a grandfather, like he finally had something other than his business to love. As I looked on, the frequency of the pictures started to decline. I saw the same man, Logan's father in a military uniform, pins and medals covering so much of his uniform. The pictures started to become just the duo here in the house today. Just mother and son. There was no grandfather, no grandmother, no father.

She waited. While I assessed her life. While I took stock of everything in their house, she waited. I think she wanted to give me a chance to absorb what I could before we talked.

"I hate your teacher for giving you this project."

That got my attention and when I asked her if I could record her, she agreed. We had to get to know the people other than our partner. The people who truly affected their lives and it seemed like his mother was the only person in his.

"You have no idea the things my son has been through. No idea how hard it is for him to get up, go to that school and face all of you."

I gulped. It seemed like she was talking right through the recorder. Like she was broadcasting her emotions and her words to every student in my class even though the only person that could hear her was me and the tape recorder.

"I've always tried to protect my son. I've always wanted him to know that he could count on me. That I would always have the best intentions for him. I've failed. Time and time again. I've failed to protect him. From people I thought loved him. From people who I thought loved me. You can not imagine how hard it is for me to see my son suffering. To see his pain and know there isn't a damn thing that I can do about it. The hardest part of being a parent is knowing that you won't succeed. That however much you want to protect them from every hurt in the world, however much you want to hold them close to your chest and shield them from the dangers of the world, that you alone won't be enough. And sometimes, without even knowing it, you bring hurt to them. You bring pain and sorrow and in the end, you're just as confused. Just as hurt and scarred. Your teacher has no idea what she's doing by making him relive all of that."

I couldn't speak. I didn't know how. I had never seen such raw emotion. Had never seen someone break down completely but still be one of the strongest people I had ever looked on. As the tears streamed down her face, I didn't see weakness or submission, I saw someone who had to grow up long before she was ready. I wanted to ask her if it was okay if I captured her picture, but I just raised the camera to my face and after making sure it was focused, I snapped the shot. She wasn't angry or surprised; she just sat there and let me catch her tears on film. Let me capture the pain she lived with as a mother.

The silence in the room was thick and as we heard Logan coming down the stairs, she excused herself to the kitchen and as I sat looking at the seat she vacated, I couldn't help but wonder... what really had happened to Logan?

"I'm ready."

As his voice shook me of my reverie, my eyes lingered on his life surrounding me. The pictures, the memories, the disappearing acts. It was all one big mystery to me, but the project was supposed to unravel all of that? Was supposed to get us to know these people, get to understand them. As I rose out of my seat and followed him upstairs, I wondered if I could see this project through to the end and what exactly would I learn.

* * *

><p><em>I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed and favored my story, it means a lot. This story isn't so long because I wanted to start off with something small and graduate towards bigger and better stories. Again, I appreciate all the reviews and favorites, you've made me feel welcomed. Thank you. Happy Reading!<em>


End file.
